Sometimes Salvation
by TrekPrincess
Summary: Becaue I hated the way Red rock Jarod was written and what was left out I wanted to fill in some of the missing pieces.    This takes place after Dragon House and before Red Rock.    This story begins with Kyle thinking back on his life while in a old hot
1. REFLECTIONS

**REFLECTIONS**

There was no beginning, there was no end, it was simply existence, a long complicated existence.

The emptiness was biting; the loneliness was like a dark expanse never filled.

Once Kyle had dreams, once he had felt like a real person, but it had been so long since he knew what it was like to feel; to feel anything good at least. Now the anger consumed him, turned and twisted his world into those all consuming feelings of hot rage and cold vengeance. Even if at first those feelings clung to him like a sickness, it was better than feeling nothing at all and in doing so he felt a sort of clinical detachment from his life in way.

For a while, making others pay for whatever small thing they had done, bad or not, was enough. Not anymore, now it had ceased to matter to him, it was all the same, it held little interest. It was fate that intervened so that they would cross his path. Nothing short of fate, for he did not believe in faith anymore. It felt sometimes like someone had taken a knife and plunged it into his soul tearing and ripping out the faith he once had.

He had held onto that small light of hope tethered inside his conscious in that dark, dark place where all that evil happened. He held on when he had heard Jarod's voice through the wall, but then there came a day when that voice was no longer there and the darkness began to consume him, making him forget who he was, making hope seem like it had been gone a lifetime dying away like a faint echo.

And so down there in that dank sub–level cell, he became what they wanted him to be all along. He let all that was good in him wither and die and oh how they rejoiced when that happened. Even the torture he had endured for so long was to a lesser degree than before, but he hardly noticed that anymore.

That was a human emotion, a sentiment that he no longer felt connected to. When they let him hold his first gun, he felt the excitement run hot through his veins, but when he asked to use it he was beaten. He was told never to speak out of turn and never to speak his mind, he was to do only what they told him to do nothing more. He learned that lesson in a painfully harsh way, but he had learned it none the less.

Four weeks went by before they returned for him, he was on his bunk staring at the ceiling, his stomach was rumbling from the lack of food they had withheld as part of the punishment. He did not complain he simply stared back at them through the narrow glass strip. They asked if he was hungry, he simply shrugged his shoulders in reply. They thought they had broken him that time.

So he was given the standard provisions plus a little extra, he ate it without question, he never said thank you, for that was weakness and that was not tolerated. He shoved the metal plate and cup back through the slot and stared at them. There was no sign of contempt or gratitude behind his green eyes, they looked empty now. The Centre liked that. The food merely kept him alive for he found no appeasement in what they fed him. Sometimes he felt like an animal in a cage, fed only to keep them alive but never to make them happy only kept for the amusement of others.

The next day he was taken to another room where he again was able to hold the gun in his young hands. He made no attempt to move, he didn't even think about turning the gun on his handler, those thoughts would come much later. Today he would do as he was told. He just felt its weight, it's power and potential.

"Kyle, would you like to try and shoot that weapon?" The voice wheezed out.

He nodded his head slightly. "Gooood" The disturbing voice responded. "Then take it and aim at the target boy, aim for the kill shots, you must know what those are don't you boy?"

He didn't really, but it wasn't an option for him to say so. He closed his eyes and let the primal instinct inside of him take over. The head shot was obvious by then and he fired twice, hitting the target once square in the head but missing the second time. He looked down at his feet feeling ashamed that he had missed. He didn't even notice the other man in the room until he felt him whack his legs so hard with a stick that they seemed to turn into jelly before he fell to his knees. "Never take your eyes off of your target!" The voice said coldly. "You must be the one to make the kill, or you are of no use to us understood!"

He understood. He climbed back to his feet even though his legs were burning and aching terribly. He held the pistol in his hands and aimed again at the cardboard cut-out of a human being. He lined up the sights and fired two shots straight into the head, but he didn't' stop there, he lowered the gun slightly and fired off the rest of the magazine into the heart of the target. It felt like an extension of his hand, natural, the recoil shuddering through his body, making him feel alive.

He felt such a surge of empowerment when he watched the bullets rip through the place where a human heart would have been. He felt like a God at that moment, like life and death was in his hands and he alone had the choice to spare it or take it. For the first time in a very long time he felt like somebody again, like he was worthy of living after all.

That experience would stay with him for the rest of his life, that litany would become his mantra over time, he held in his hand that day the power to take a life or not to, it was his decision and he liked that. He never told that to his handler, Mr Raines, because he wasn't supposed to think for himself after all, but secretly that feeling belonged to him and it was a feeling that made him feel good inside. It felt like the fiery rage that boiled inside him was temporarily cooled when he relived that moment over and over in his solitary cell, long after lights out.

It was that feeling that began to shape his psyche; it was the words that he wrote down in his journal that would ultimately define him. I decide who lives or dies.

A trained psychoanalyst studying such a young boy with those feelings might have diagnosed him as a sociopath or a budding psychopath and they probably would have been right. But no one like that ever came to the Centre.

He was just a boy back then and he was growing up to be everything that they wanted him to be. A killer devoid of a passion, a killer that could never be reasoned with, bargained with or even bribed if there was a hit out on someone. He would do his job and that was all there was to it or so the Centre believed for the longest time. Kyle; Jarod's little brother was nothing more to the Centre than a weapon to be used at will. They never saw the boy who sat in his cell day in and day out, a boy who was missing out on everything a normal kid had.

As he grew older they trained him intensely, when he grew tired someone would arrive and give him some sort of shot, and the adrenaline would flow through his veins like liquid energy. Soon enough he didn't even require that much sleep. He became better and better at everything, he was exceedingly bright and learned everything faster than expected which pleased his handler.

Once they had his I.Q tested and he scored so high that he was put in the genius range of intellect. Kyle was in that rare population who had an eidetic memory.

Everything came so easy to him that he just took it for granted. He never really understood the meaning of such a rarity until he was out in the real world. He could speak fluently in a number of languages, the words just rolled off his tongue with ease, but the best part was the ability to blend himself into any situation, any world he choose fit to try out.

Even though he was doing everything they wanted him to do, he still was put through rigorous cycles of torture to keep him strong or so they told him. The pain was always white hot and he never adapted to it as he had done with other things, mostly because they increased the force and the voltage each time they strapped him into the chair. Kyle feared almost nothing in his life but that chair filled him with dread even though he fought hard to never let it show.

Sometimes he wished so badly that he could just black out and send his mind somewhere else but the way his brain was wired and his intellect kept him from finding that haven, He endured though, through it all he endured.

But each time they put him in that chair he began to harden his hatred of humanity more and more. If the people who were monitoring him ever noticed they never let on, because he made sure that his eyes betrayed nothing of what he was feeling inside.

One day he dared ask one question, knowing what the consequences would be, but he didn't care this time. After the beating he was simply told "He's dead." That was when the small visage of humanity drained from his body and he became exactly what he was made to be.

There were many assignments, they all seemed to blur together now in a black haze of hatred and sickness. All the things that he had done to other people without hesitation without question he tried to push back deep into his mind and for a long time he had managed to do just that. He managed to never give it a second thought, never to care who he hurt or even why he did the things he did.

His life was linear during those years; there were no shades of grey to contend with, nothing to get in his way until one day a variable in his life turned up alive and well. And he was totally unprepared for it. He was meticulous in all things, careful and extremely patient when he had to be, this rocked him to his very foundation and he suddenly felt his life crumbling around him. Everything that he thought he knew as truths became lies.

He had never so much as doubted himself before and now he doubted everything. It was unnerving and more than unsettling to find out that your whole life was a one big lie and all shrouded in conspiracy and cruelty on such a large scale that no normal human being could ever handle.

But Kyle had long ago shed himself of his humanity and although he was only with Jarod for a small time he felt a tiny crack forming in that wall in his mind. All those years, wasted with the Centre. All those years he was forced to do what they wanted him to do and all the times that he enjoyed it came closing in on him little by little.

How could his brother ever even know who he really was inside when he himself didn't know anymore? He felt very little to no remorse for the horrible acts that he committed; he couldn't deny that sometimes it felt so good to be the one dealing out the pain and not the one receiving it.

Since he escaped the Centre he had not quit what came naturally to him, he still felt the need to hurt others and he was still cautious when it came to getting close to anybody. All people ever did to him his entire life was hurt and betray him.

It wasn't something that could be changed overnight, maybe it could never be changed but perhaps it could be altered just a bit. And to Kyle these new and strange thoughts were persistent and powerful but also very confusing. He felt conflicted and no matter how hard he tried to push back those feelings he always seemed to fail for they continued to haunt him.

How could he ever explain to his brother what he had become? What he still was. Maybe Jarod was better off without him in his life, even though he still felt that connection to him. A piece of his real home, his real family. It would be so easy just to turn around and never let his brother see him ever again. Let him believe that he died in that crash. It would be so much easier than facing up to this dingy existence of reality.

When he let his mind linger on the thought of meeting up with Jarod again he was fearful that he would be rejected, because that was what his whole life had been about. He had researched Jarod during this time and read about all the things that his older brother had done just to help people, people he never even knew. Kyle never bothered to think of others in such a way, he didn't care like Jarod obviously did, he did what he needed to do to survive. Where he took lives, Jarod saved lives. Could such polar opposites ever form some semblance of a family he wondered. He worried that such a thing would be impossible and that his brother would turn away from, in fact he pretty much expected that, but decided to try anyway.

Because somewhere inside him, there was a small spark that he thought burned out a long time ago and had only reawakened when he learned the truth behind all the lies of the Centre. He could tell that Jarod was hurting as much as he was, perhaps in different ways but they shared a commonality, a bloodline. No more was he alone in the world, he had a someone out there who actually cared for him and didn't want to use him they way the Centre had used him for so long. He didn't know how different their upbringings had been at the Centre nor did he even know the similarities, but he was sure that some of the things that had been done to him had indeed been done to his brother as well. And that was enough; he had enough hatred built up for the both of them now. And just maybe Jarod might understand in a way nobody else ever could.

What was living really about? That was the question that surfaced in his dark moments, like now, sitting here on the edge of the bed, in a motel room off some long dusty highway.

The fading daylight began to dim casting its long shadows against the dingy walls through the sun bleached orange curtains that hung from the cast iron rods. So close, he thought, so close to finding them all and making them pay for what they have done.

"I will make them pay, pay for all they have done to us." Kyle spoke softly to the empty room. "You may not be able to do to them, what I plan on doing to them slowly and painfully, they owe us their blood and their lives."

Kyle leaned back on the bed; sleep was never easy even now that he was away from the centre. No matter how hard he tried to drift off into that realm of dreams, he couldn't find that peace he craved. He wished for the millionth time that he could sleep without the nightmares, just once, just once not to be taken back there, to that place of despair, the prison his mind just could not let go of.

He tossed and turned restlessly in the small bed, finally grabbing the pillow and smothering it against his face yelling into it furiously. Nothing helped, he had even tried to drink it away at first but that never did anything but fuel the fire inside of him, besides he didn't like the loss of control that drinking alcohol induced.

Better to be sharp, then off his game he had concluded after a very unwise bar patron had decided to offend him and he had to teach the man a lesson in manners. He didn't even think that they ever found that guy's remains, but they did find a couple of fingers on the front seat of his dirty red truck later. _Teach him to flip me off again _Kyle thought when he left the bloodied digits for the redneck's buddies to find.

Finally he got up out of the bed in disgust and stalked into the small bathroom. The smell of the motel room was musty, like old mothballs, but the bathroom reeked of some sort of cleaning detergent and bleach. He flicked on the light, muttering to himself when it flickered for a good ten seconds before finally lighting the tiny green and white room with its dull yellow glow.

The porcelain around the sink was cracked and chipping and the mirror had a large crack running down the side of it. He stared at his reflection, the image of a young man with an angry scowl looked back at him, he dropped the scowl and tried to smile but it didn't feel right, nothing about any of this felt right...yet.

He pulled out his razor from a small black bag and started to shave. Half way through he nicked his cheek and watched with mild fascination as droplets of bright crimson blood dripped down his face and dropped into the white porcelain sink. Blood was such a common sight to him that he rarely took notice of it anymore, except for today, some reason the sight of watching his own blood run red along with the water swirling down the drain gave him a bleak and ominous feeling.

Maybe he was just too tired and too tense; he had been running on empty for what seemed liked weeks now. He reached into the shower stall, brushed back the curtain with a flick of his hand and pulled the handle all the way over to the hot end.

He pulled off the grey long-sleeved shirt he was wearing and dropped it onto the dingy floor. He kicked off his boots and pulled his socks offs before unbuckling his belt and letting his dusty jeans fall into the crumpled pile of discarded clothing. He could still feel the grains of sand that clung to his body from the bike ride out to this place. It was gritty and uncomfortable between his toes and the sandy dust trickled down his bare back as he removed his once white t-shirt.

Stripping off his boxer briefs, he stepped into the small shower stall and let the hot water flow over his body that was already beginning to relax him. At least this particular motel had good water pressure and not that weak spray that was so prominent in these shoddy out of the way places.

The hot spray of water felt so good running over his body that he actually closed his eyes for a moment and tried once more to shut out the world. The moment sadly did not last very long. For soon, he was going over his plan in his head for the umpteenth time.

He had been tracking their movements for months and at long last it had led him closer than ever to finding his brother and the person that was gunning after him too. He hated to even think of the man's name, it sounded like a curse word in some vulgar language to him, a much hated curse word that carried such deep feelings of rage to languish in his mind.

Trying to dismiss this thought he rested his forehead against the wall of the shower stall, mildly amused that the wall was not overtly slimy, the maid whoever she was had scrubbed it haphazardly with bleach or some other cleaner that smelled of chlorine.

He relaxed a bit more and relished in the hot water as it ran over the length of his body, ridding him of all the grains of sandy road dust.

He had spent so much time under that steaming array of water that he barely realized it when the water began to turn cooler. He shook his head under the stream of now lukewarm water and lathered up his hair with the small bottle of shampoo that he had taken out beforehand from his small black bag.

Grabbing the small bar of Irish Spring soap, he thoroughly washed himself off, making sure to get all the grit off his body from the week long ride through the desert. He had just finished rinsing off as the shower water began to stream out ice cold.

Stepping out of the shower stall, he grabbed one of the hotel towels and slung it around his waist then flopped back onto the bed letting the old red quilt on top soak up the water that was dripping off of the rest of his body and his damp hair.

He closed his eyes remembering his brother's face and smiled slightly when he thought of Jarod and this time he knew that this smile was genuine. _Family, I have a family when for so long I had thought I was alone. Someday Jarod, I will make them suffer long and hard for what they did to you and me. Those bastards, all of them, they will know what hurt really feels like and someday is closer than you could ever imagine big brother. _

It seemed that the hot shower had done the trick because his eyelids grew heavy and soon he had altogether closed his eyes and drifted off finally into a dark sleep. This night, unlike so many others he lay in a dreamless sleep.

By the time he awoke more than a few hours had passed and surprisingly he felt refreshed and energized for the first time in months maybe even years.

He pulled back the yellowed curtain, which had indeed seem better days and peeked outside his first floor window, always careful not to be seen by anyone or anything for that matter.

Daylight was just appearing on the horizon and although it seemed like a really short night, he knew that if he was right in his assumptions; it would be an extremely long day.

He sighed, back tracked to the small bathroom and reached down for his pile of dirty clothes, they were still dusty from the trip out to the godforsaken place and he knew without even lifting the clothing that the smell was a mixture of sweat and desert filth. He wrinkled his nose out of habit and detested the thought of putting back on any of the clothing that lay crumpled on the dingy tile floor.

_I really need to get some new clothes because these are shit_. He thought to himself but then he remembered the go-bag he brought with him on every mission. It mostly contained various weapons of sorts; guns and knives and few other specialty items but it also contained a much needed change of clothing.

His sour mood faded as he pulled out a fresh black t-shirt and black jeans along with a rolled up pair of heavy duty socks and clean boxers. Everything was folded up perfectly and he shook them free before laying them all out on the bedspread. He dressed slowly and meticulously, savoring the ritual as one who rarely got a chance to do as he pleased without anyone monitoring and timing his every move. He threaded his belt through the loops on his new pants before pulling them on and fastening the buckle. He finished by throwing on his navy blue jacket.

Almost always he was on a time-table that was set by someone else, now he did as he pleased and he took a brief sort of pleasure from being on his own schedule and not someone else's. It was like a tasty morsel of his own free will that he savored in a way that he imagined a prisoner who had just been released from a long stint in a prison isolation ward would have enjoyed just a small taste of such a simplistic freedom as dressing ones self without being watched at all times by the guards.

It may sound strange to anyone else but that momentary feeling of unbidden freedom he experienced just now, satisfied him to the core. He was no longer anyone's property and even though he had been on his own for quite awhile now he still appreciated these rare moments that really made it seem real for him that he was now his own person, answering now to no one but himself.

He tousled his hair with his towel before throwing it haphazardly towards the general direction of the bathroom, then rummaged through his black bag again finding his comb and running it through his still slightly damp hair. After a quick trek to the bathroom to brush his teeth, he was almost ready.

Kyle picked up his knife that he had placed inside the small desk, right next to the complimentary bible._ Does anyone ever read these when they stay in these places_? He mused tracing a finger down the black and gold embossed cover. Doesn't make any difference anyway he thought putting his knife in its sheath against his side and shutting the drawer.

_If there is a God out there I doubt I'll ever meet him, Heaven was not meant for people like me._

The morning was already roiling in the desert heat that rose from the cracked pavement in waves.

Making sure no traces of himself were left in that place and that all his belongings were tucked safely away in his black bag, he tossed the room key back on the bed and wondered briefly to himself what it would be like to actually have a real place to live of his very own. One that he didn't have to leave behind him every time he had to run. Burning those bridges beyond any hope of repair. As a rule he never stayed in the same place twice let alone for more than a few days when things seemed to have slowed down a bit.

Still he longed for a place he could call his own, someplace where he was just Kyle and nothing more than that.

_What a ridicules thought, Jarod even told you, your life is nothing but running and it would always be that way. _

He chastised himself for even thinking such unrealistic thoughts and instead shut the motel room door in disgust not even turning to look back, that place no longer existed to him anymore as it had to be.

Kyle found his motorcycle amongst a couple of stray beat up looking sedans; and one black fiat with bleached sun marks on the hood who had obviously seen better days. These were the crude and well worn vehicles obviously belonging to the other wonderful guests of the circle 7 motor lodge no doubt known in these parts as one of those no-tell motels.

Off to the side nearest his bike he spotted a very old looking beat-up brown colored pickup truck with oversized tires and a faded bumper sticker on it's bent tailgate that read _"Kill 'em all and let god sort 'em out". _He chuckled to himself as he read the words on the tailgate sticker, he interpreted the sentiment to be a joke of sorts in his mind and he was mildly amused when he saw a peeling NRA sticker in the trucks rear window.

Rednecks probably own more guns than gang members he thought, too bad they were both equally stupid in his opinion. Although he would liked to have picked the brain of the driver who most likely always wore some sort of truckers hat perched upon his head as he headed for the nearest bar to preach gun rights to anyone who would lend him their ear.

Kyle wondered just what kind of person the owner of the truck really was like when he wasn't being flanked by more rednecks and drinking endless boilermakers; no doubt leering at any pretty girl who had the unfortunate task of being their bartender.

He also wondered what the man's brain would look like dissected on a platter. How different would it be in comparison to his own superior brain. Perhaps another time he would make the time to find out for himself, but as it was he had someone else to seek out that would prove to be quite psychotic in his own right.

Again the name popped egregiously into his thoughts and he wasted no more time on trivial musings as he straddled his motorcycle, slipping his key into the ignition and firing up the roaring engine.

Revving up his cycle, he reached behind him and grabbed his helmet which he slid onto his head, masking his identity from the rest of the free world once again and peeled out of the parking lot and out onto the highway.

As the wind rushed against him, so did his thoughts.

_I'm on my way now; it's time to end this once and for all. It's gonna be alright this time, we'll be together again soon and if I have to; I'll kill the whole lot of them, just for you brother, only for you._


	2. REVELATIONS I

**REVELATIONS I**

Kyle sped off on his cycle thinking little about keeping his speed under the radar. He never followed the rules before and he never intended to follow them again. He was lost deep in his thoughts, thinking about what lay ahead of him and what his mission was. To end it all. To end the Centre's hold on his family. This is when the siren switched on behind him and he could see red and blue lights from the corner on his eye.

He mumbled a curse under his breath; this was not what he needed right now, not today of all days. Usually when an obstacle came between him and his mission it would be simple to just dispatch that problem and move on.

He considered at first just to outrun the cruiser because he thought of how much fun that always was, but then he was curious about this turn of events and wanted to see if he was still on the most wanted circuit or if he had indeed been deleted and marked as deceased. He also knew that if he had to go to plan B that would not bother him either.

Kyle pulled his cycle over to the edge of the highway, first looking ahead of him and behind to make sure there was no traffic that might hinder his plans. Seeing nothing but an empty highway stretching for miles in both directions he clicked the key of his cycle to the off position and kicked his foot to engage the kickstand as he waited for the officer to make their way over.

"Please put your hands on the top of the handlebars." A voice sounded out, the timbre of the voice was different than Kyle expected it to be.

"Alright.' He sighed with little interest, lifting up his hands and wiggling his fingers in the air before setting them down on the handlebars.

"Take off your helmet for me sir" The voice requested growing closer.

"Would you rather I keep my hands on the handlebars or do what you asked because it really makes no sense as I cannot proceed to do both at once." Kyle reached up and took off his helmet and set it down on the back of his bike. "But then again I don't really care about any of this really."

He was about to put his hands back in their original position when he noticed the officer standing a few feet from him, now he knew why the voice sounded different over the loudspeaker, the officer was not some burly Sherriff's officer but quite the contrary.

She was a very petite woman, he approximated her age to be between 20-25. She had dark auburn hair with sun kissed golden hues woven into them amd although she wore her hair tied up in a French twist he could still tell that the length was several inches below her shoulders. She had long dark thick fringed eyelashes that framed her light brown eyes which contained flecks of gold that caught the light making them even more beautiful to look at. She wore a dark blue uniform with a gold badge pinned to her chest, the clothes seemed to form fit her slender body as if they were tailor made just for her.

_She was quite a good looking girl; he wondered why she had chosen such a rugged job like this one as a career. _Kyle wondered to himself.

"Please put your hands back on the handlebars sir." She said again.

Kyle grinned, although he never thought much about it, he had been told many times by different women that he was very good looking, this had worked to his advantage many times over the years and he liked anything that gave him an edge.

He put his hands back and turned his head so that his eyes met the officers "Anything else you want me to do for you?" he chided.

"Do you have any weapons on your person?" She asked.

"Perhaps." Kyle answered "You can search me if you like, although I would ask you tell me one thing first?"

Taken aback the officer looked into Kyle's green eyes and answered with a mere word "And what would that be?" She replied.

"Tell me your name and not officer this or that, I mean your name, what is it?" Kyle said tilting his head to the side to get a better look at the young woman making sure that her gun was still holstered to her side.

"Why do you want to know anyway?" She answered back after a brief pause; no one she had ever pulled over had asked her for her first name, she found it a bit puzzling.

"Names are a bit of a hobby of mine." Kyle answered "I was just wondering why your parents gave you that specific name."

"It's umm.. My name is Elizabeth." She said at last, now more than a bit curious about this man. "Elizabeth, okay."

"Ah, the name given to Queens and to movie legends." He said calmly brushing a strand of hair from his eyes. "Elizabeth; Hebrew in origin it means God's promise, it is also biblical in nature, it was the name of John the Baptist's mother, it also means God is my Oath. Not bad but it doesn't really suit you."

"That's a bit rude." She answered back, taking a few steps back from him.

"I say what I mean and I mean what I say," He said looking over again at her eyes "Perhaps I am wrong, yet I rarely am. So what do your friends call you?"

"Lizzy." She stammered out "The few I have call me Lizzy, but my mom she always used to call me Lisbeth."

"I like that name a lot better, Lisbeth and I take it from your past tense context that your mother is no longer alive." Kyle replied quickly "And you are not a Lizzy either, it also doesn't fit you."

She dropped her eyes to the asphalt highway, moving that stray piece of hair behind her ears before responding "You are right she is no longer alive, but I don't see why that would matter to you."

"You were either in a police academy or just starting the force when she gave it to you right?" Kyle said more than asked because he liked getting into the heads of people and this young woman officer or not was no exception."

"I was 18 years old when she gave it to me, she died from stage 4 brain cancer not long afterwards." Lisbeth responded "But how did you know that?"

"When I asked about your mother you instinctively touched the St. Michael medallion that you wear around your neck, you probably don't even recall doing that. She gave that to you and you have always worn it, since the pendant is well worn, except the gold chain that is rather new. There is more to it than that, but it takes time to lay it all out there."

"I had the chain replaced just 2 months ago because the clasp broke during an apprehension. And before you ask I still keep the original in my jewelry box at home." Lisbeth wasn't sure to make of all this, this man seemed to know things about her without even knowing her. _Had he been stalking her? _The thought terrified her.

"No, I haven't ever stalked you, this is the first time I have ever laid eyes on you, I just notice things other people might not." Kyle answered with a hint of a smirk upon his face.

"Did I say that out loud?" Lisbeth stammered, so sure that she only thought it.

"No, you didn't say that out loud and No I'm not psychic either. I just take notice of a lot of things about people that seems so trivial and unimportant they just gets overlooked. I was trained that way you see."

"So what are you FBI? CIA? BAU?" She asked; strangely undaunted by having this man reach in her mind and bring to light things that her co-workers, some that she had worked with for years had not even noticed. "So what else can you tell me about myself, just by looking at me?"

Kyle turned his gaze towards her ignoring all but her last question and after a mere moment started talking. "You wear your uniform with pride, it is neatly pressed and even in this heat, you wont even unbutton the collar. That tells me you are dedicated to what you do. You keep your car immaculate because you again take pride in your work. Your make-up is minimal, not overstated but subtle, you are a consummate professional, you keep your hair swept back neatly into a rather severe twist knot because you are woman working with mostly men. At least other cops that are men. You want to prove to them that you can do the job just as good if not better than they can and they resent you for that. You are most likely an only child who over exceeds at everything you put your mind to, to the chagrin of others. And most importantly you are most likely the only girl in your family who chose this career path." Kyle stopped and let her think for a moment, after all to be profiled was not an easy thing to endure.

Lisbeth was stunned, he had summed up her entire profile in less than a minute without asking her not even a single question. Now she was more than enticed with this handsome young man. _How did he know so much about her? Was this a set-up of some kind? How much danger was she in? _All these thoughts rushed through her mind like a speeding train with no destination in sight.

Lisbeth was still lost in thought, when she broke protocol and approached the man on the cycle without calling for back-up or at least take her side arm out.

Instead she walked ever so close towards him, letting his voice ease her in.

"Are you one of those profilers like the FBI has? You know the kind of guy whose job it is to get inside the mind of the worst criminals?" She asked inching closer, now more captivated by him then ever and besides criminal profiling had been one of her favorite subjects at the academy. "Who was the worst criminal you ever profiled?" She added getting very close to Kyle who simply obliged her with a reassuring smile.

"Come closer and I will tell you all that you want to know." He beckoned her over with his finger and charmed her with his smile until she was leaning in towards him much too close than she normally would have ever done.

The man gently moved a wisp of her hair back that kept falling out of it's twist with his fingers before whispering ever so softly in her ear.

"Darling," Kyle said in a most calming voice "I myself _am_ the criminal that those so-called FBI profilers just love to discuss."

She tried to scream but the sound caught in her throat and before she could respond, he grabbed her by the waist and disarmed her with such amazing speed and dexterity that she didn't even know what happened until it was too late. He held her close to him breathing in the smell of her light scented perfume, feeling her rapid heartbeat against his chest."

She trembled beneath him as he held her close and moved her back towards the back seat of her own patrol car. When he opened the back door of the car and gestured for her to slide inside the back seat. That is when she began to silently cry.

Kyle cocked his head to the side and peered over into her shining eyes. "Why are you crying?" He asked even though he could tell she was scared just by the increase in her heart rate and the way her body trembled as he carried her in is arms.

The petite officer felt a pang of fear flood through her body, but yet mustered up the courage to respond "You want me in the back seat; you want me there to.. to…" She couldn't even finish her sentence for terror was getting the best of her.

"To rape you?" Kyle finished for her. "You think that I asked you to get into the back seat so that I can rape you? Am I correct in that assumption?'

"Yes" Lisbeth stammered out, the feeling of fear growing exponentially with each second that ticked by.

"Ah, let's not be so crude Lisbeth." Kyle replied keeping his voice so calm and steady, it seemed chilling. "I admit that I have done a lot of bad, bad things to a laundry list of people. But I have _never_ raped anyone, let alone even gave it so much as a minute thought. I find that behavior lecherous and disgusting."

"Then why make me get into the back seat?" she asked as her voice began to crack.

"I may be a lot of things, but for the record I Do NOT, not have I ever raped a woman." Kyle added vehemently.

"Believe it or not, I do have some standards Lisbeth." Kyle said cocking his head to the side as he were thinking about something.

"But you are a self proclaimed criminal, how do you expect me just to take your word on the subject?" She asked, hoping that another car would miraculously appear on the highway, sparing her from God only knows what this man had in mine for her. She almost wept when she saw nothing but sage brush and dirt devils swirling around in the dry arid heat. No, there would be no one coming along this stretch of Highway, especially since it was a Sunday and traffic was always light on those days.

"Ah, how can someone such as myself even care about such things? Well, I tell you that I do, there are only a few things that I just won't do and never have before. I find raping a helpless woman or any woman as it were, disgusting and beneath me. It's animalistic to say the very least. But you can believe whatever you want for this is a free country from what I have read but I have _never _raped a woman and I have _never_ killed a kid. Kids are innocents to me."

Lisbeth was frightened, she didn't know if she even believed him or not, after all he had disarmed her in a split second. "

"I give you my word that I will not lay an inappropriate hand or finger upon your body in any sort of a sexual way." Kyle stated again. "Understood?"

Lisbeth remained silent but nodded her head as she let him lead her back to her patrol car.

Kyle continued talking calmly to her as though nothing was wrong "Just for the record you are quite an attractive even stunning young woman, but I am not inclined in any way to take such advantages of you, I do promise that you are in no danger of such things happening between you and I."

Lisbeth studied his body while he talked to her, he was very fit, over six feet tall easily, where she herself was more like five foot one at best, weighing about 115 pounds soaking wet. She was no match for him physically, all she could do at this point was go along with whatever he asked of her. His hair was brown and he was a white male in his mid to late twenties, with the most striking green eyes she had ever seen on any man. There was also a long scar on his cheek that ended close to his eye. She could not make out at tattoos or other scars that were visible. He had full lips and perfect teeth from what she could see when he smiled at her. Besides the Navy blue jacket, he wore all black underneath, along with black boots.

Kyle sensed that she was measuring him up, but he didn't really care, he would be long gone soon anyway and planned to ditch those clothes at the nearest opportune moment.

"Now you be a good girl and get in the back seat while I look through your police data base, then after we can have a little talk okay, If everything checks out then I will take my leave of you and you will never see or hear from me again. Is that clear?

She nodded her head again and climbed in the back seat of her own patrol car, one that she used to think made her impervious to these kinds of situations. She could barley comprehend just how fast the tables had turned for her. She watched with helplessness as he casually tossed her only weapon a Glock 9 onto the passenger seat, after removing all the bullets and stashing them in the front pocket of his pants.

Kyle whistled to himself as he climbed into the front seat of the patrol car and turned on the small computer terminal. It seemed strangely outdated for this day and age but he would make due with this archaic piece of equipment. As he inspected the unit his whistling stopped and he muttered something to himself that she couldn't make out.

Lisbeth picked up on his mood quickly "We don't have much of a budget anymore. So we take what we can get, even substandard crap like that."

"No problem." Kyle answered back as he heard the frustration in her voice. "I can work wonders with even this sort of computer, it is another hobby of mine." Kyle was soon busy watching typing so fast that his fingers became nothing but a blur to her. "Although I could easily hack into this system myself in mere minutes. If you would give me the password yourself it would help me to trust you a little."

Lisbeth shook her head from side to side indicating a negative response.

She could have given him a false password to stall for time, but he did promise that he would leave her unharmed if she complied with his requests and for some strange indefinable reason she put her trust in that.

Kyle turned around in the front seat and looked directly at her and into her almond shaped eyes. Their eyes met, his bright green ones to her brown and gold ones, as he held her gaze she felt her resolve melt away.

He sensed her mood shift so he once again re-assured her that he would be taking his leave of her only after he found the information that he was searching for.

Without looking away from him she quickly relayed her private police band password to him. She told herself that she did it because she just wanted this to be over as quickly as possible, but now she wasn't so sure. Clearly there was something about this good looking man that captivated her and although she was still scared, when she looked into his eyes that fear momentarily went away. A minute later he was in. And soon enough he was exactly where he wanted to be inside the police database. He accessed his own file and was pleased to see the word 'DECEASED' in bold red lettering across the bottom. There was another small note that read 'MARKED FOR DELETION'.

She listened to him type for several minutes until he looked back at her.

He watched with curiosity as her breath began to steady itself almost automatically. _Strange oh so strange _he thought as he continued his work, _this girl is trusting me_. It was a conundrum for him because besides his brother no one ever simply trusted him to do what he said he would do. He wondered how long this trust might last.

"Did you radio in that you were pulling me over?" He asked leaning back in the seat while resting his arm across the top part.

She whimpered back something that he couldn't quite make out. "Oh Lisbeth, Lisbeth" He said sighing "I thought we had a rapport going, I have told you of my intentions when it comes to yourself, so why would you not answer me clearly?"

"I called in your plate and that it was a cycle but that was it." Lisbeth said softly. "I Swear, that was all I did."

"You swear eh?" Kyle asked looking down at the console. He waited as she nodded her head slightly and then continued "Alrighty, I see from your transmission here that only my cycle plates were called in. It seems you are telling me the truth after all. I like that, Lisbeth. He smiled down at the keyboard, typed something more into her police computer then spoke some more.

"By the way, it's not really my cycle, I just liberated it. So it can never be traced back to me, but hey that's just semantics right? I just needed to know if you told me the truth and did give them a description of me but I see here that you did not."

She didn't say a word for a long moment, just stared back at him, before saying in that soft lilting voice "Well, I never got the chance."

"I know." Kyle replied still typing away on the tiny keyboard "But I needed to use your police band computer and securing you in the process was only a precaution on my part. You have yet to lie to me Lisbeth and I am curious as to why that is? You could have stalled me by not giving me your password, you could have so easily lied and said you had back-up coming, yet you did none of those things, why?"

"Because trust goes both ways. You wanted honesty and I gave it freely even though I was and still am afraid. I am willing to trust you at your word, not because of the circumstances, but because I want to give you the same courtesy that you have promised me. Yes, trust is a two sided street no matter how you interpret it."

Kyle gave her terse smile and added "Oh yes Lisbeth; speaking of that topic is no easy feat for me either; trust that is. You see, trust and me; oh we have a great many issues. So as a rule I tend to distrust most anyone and everything. It is ingrained in my nature, a part of me."

"Isn't that hard, never trusting anyone?" Lisbeth asked carefully adjusting herself on the hard seat.

He looked back at her and saw that she was hugging herself as she spoke to him; the look in her eyes was the look of a frightened puppy.

"For a long time my answer would have been so easy. I simply didn't care, I never cared in fact. You can't miss something you never had dear little Lisbeth." Kyle never talked this much to anyone and on the rare occasions that he did. He always made sure that no one ever lived to talk. "But, well you see; now there is someone out there in the real world that I trust with my life and more. He paused and added carefully "And once a lifetime ago there was someone else that I let my guard down around, the first person I ever decided to trust."

"Is it someone in your family?" She asked. The shaking she had felt at first was now ebbing. "The one you talked about first."

"My family." Kyle said slightly laughing at his own words "I guess he could be called that. I suppose then; yes it is someone in my family, my very small fractured family as it were."

Lisbeth felt that tinge of fear move up her spine again as she heard him laugh. But she also felt a strong sudden surge of attraction towards this man, he really was incredibly handsome, his deep green eyes seemed to draw her in. _But isn't that what they said about Bundy too _she thought to herself. _Just what was she getting herself involved in? _

"My big brother Jarod." Kyle said turning his body around so that he could watch her expressions and body language as they talked. "He's everything that I am not, you see where he saves the world, I condemn it. Where he saves lives, I take lives." He let his words sink in before continuing.

"We were close as children, but I have only seen him once since we both grew up. For many years while I was locked up I thought he was dead because that was what I had been told. And when he finally found me and confronted me with the truth I didn't believe him. It took awhile but slowly I began to trust him, which was exceedingly hard because it had been so long since I trusted anyone, now I would die for him. Isn't that something? For my brother showed me such feelings that I have only read of in books."

"You speak of your brother like you both love and fear him." She said softly.

"Yes, I suppose that sentiment is somewhat true, I do fear his judgment of me. But love is a foreign to me as it has always been." Kyle answered running his fingers through his hair as he talked. "My dear older brother Jarod, we are so different, where light seems to follow him, darkness envelopes me constantly. I exist only in the shadows just beyond that light. People look at his eyes and they see love, when they look at mine they see only fear."

"Then why don't you try something else if you don't want to be in the dark?" She asked somewhat brazenly but still letting her shoulders slump as she talked_. If I'm going to die then I damn well better start drawing out her last moments._

Kyle picked up immediately on her change posture and the infliction in her voice was also different. "You still think that I am going to kill you." He said with a bite of anger rising in his voice. "So you don't really trust me yet do you?"

When she didn't answer he yelled back loudly "DO YOU?"

"No, I suppose not." She whimpered slightly, stung a little. "But you did say that you were a killer and that other than two people, you yourself don't trust anyone." She was nearing hysterics as she continued on "Plus you just told me that you were locked up and I can only assume it was for murder."

"Hmm" Kyle pondered this over in his mind for awhile before nodding slightly. "I see your point; I wouldn't trust me either if I was in your shoes. And if I needed you to say; disappear, than I probably wouldn't lose any sleep over it."

Lisbeth looked up at him and listened carefully, she did not want to anger this guy, because she was pretty sure that he could easily become unpredictable. All her law enforcement training had never prepared her for something like this and all she could do was improvise and if he wanted her to trust him then that is what she would do. She was about to voice this to him but all she could get out was a single sentence. "You scare me mister, and I honestly believe that you might kill me right now if you wanted too."

"Normally on any other day you would be spot on, but that here is not the case unless you do something foolish and I would strongly advises against that. I don't expect you to trust me completely for that would be foolish and you are not a foolish person, I can see that. I am just asking that you trust that I will not harm you if you comply with what I ask of you, just for a little while at best. I don't want to have to kill you Lisbeth, so please don't so anything that would make me."

She gazed back into his green eyes and managed back a weak reply "Okay mister. I will trust what you have promised."

"Great." Kyle said with a smile "Now we are on the same page, in tandem if you will."

He got out of the cruiser after making sure her door was locked then went about rolling his bike off the highway and behind some large bushes that would conceal it from anyone driving along the highway. Even though there had not been a car in sight for over and hour he still was cautious. Caution had served him well since he began life outside in the real world.

Lisbeth watched him from her window and knew exactly what he was doing; he was far more experienced at evasion than she previously thought. Soon he was back behind the wheel of her patrol car. The keys still hung from the ignition switch so it was easy to start it right up. The engine came to life with a soft purr.


	3. REVELATIONS II

**REVELATIONS II**

"Call me Kyle," He said as he put the car in drive and took them off the highway and behind a large rock formation that wasn't too far away.

"Kyle" She began nervously "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere out of the way of prying eyes and traffic, you see I cant be seen in the front of a patrol car with its officer held in the back seat, now can I?"

"I suppose not" She answered back, straightening up in the seat as he drew the car to a slow and easy stop.

"Now do you want out of the backseat of this thing, I know how uncomfortable they can be?"

"Uhh sure." She answered back as he swung open the door and let her climb out.

He was leaning against the hood of the patrol car when she stood up to get a look at her surroundings.

"Do you have a cigarette in that car of yours?" He asked without looking at her.

"No, but I have a pack in the front pocket of my shirt." She offered up coming around the car to where she stood in front of him. Letting him see the pack that was peeking out of her breast pocket. "Want to grab them?"

He looked her up and down and shook his head "No, you grab them, I told you that I am not the type to take advantage of a pretty girl, even if she does throw it in my face, got it?"

Her face blushed hot and red as she retrieved the crumpled package of menthol cigarettes from her shirt pocket. She shook the package until a couple fell from the package into her hand. Shaking, she handed him one and stuck the other between her lips.

Kyle reached into his jacket and pulled out a gold and silver lighter with some sort of decorative crest on the front. He flicked the lighter with his thumb and touched the flame to his cigarette lighting the tip. He looked over at Lisbeth and lit hers too before clicking the lighter shut and tucking it back into his jacket.

He inhaled deeply and shut his eyes for a moment enjoying the taste. She watched him with fascination; she could not figure this guy out.

"You are trying to figure me out right now." He said simply "Please don't, you'll just drive yourself insane. I can't even figure myself out."

Kyle pulled off his jacket and tossed it onto the hood of the car "Damn hot out here isn't it?" He asked rhetorically.

She didn't answer as he suspected she wouldn't, she only commented that he did choose the worse colors to wear in this heat, all black.

"Hey you're uniform must not be that much cooler." He chided with her, flashing her a quick grin.

"I usually have air-condition in my unit." She said nodding to her cruiser.

"Ah yes, I didn't even think about that." Kyle answered amused.

He waited until she leaned up on the car hood next to him before speaking again "If I were to give you your weapon back, would you try and shoot me?"

She looked down at her feet and then back at his face "Yes, I might, but I would not try to kill you unless you made me."

"An honest answer." Kyle replied "I don't get those much, I like it."

"You like that answer?" She asked astonished for she thought that would surely anger him.

"Like I said before I like honestly when its not forced, not saying that I would relish the thought of being shot, although I have been through much worse in my life."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" She asked "Aren't you afraid that I will let my department know if I get out of this alive."

"I guess that I am hoping you won't feel the need to tell anyone about this after you hear what I am about to tell you. And perhaps the truth of the matter is that, while I might value honesty, I rarely use it. I lie, hell I lie a lot, it's the nature of my beast."

"The nature of _The_ Beast." She corrected him, and then bit her tongue.

Kyle watched as her bottom lip shone with a speck of blood and he knew that he was getting to her. "No, I said that quite correctly, because I am the beast, I know that, have known that for a very long time."

"So how do I know that you are not lying about everything you have said so far to me?" She asked a little unnerved.

"Well, if you must know I have come to question some things about myself lately, and I wanted to set just one record straight even if it's just with you. But make no mistakes, the nature of what I am I still don't question it at all."

"What has happened in your life that has caused you to question things? And just maybe you are just trying to understand things." She said, watching him crush the butt of his cigarette with his heal. She had noticed that he had a rather fluid movement about him, everything he did seemed so very precise that she was wondering if he had rehearsed this whole scenario before.

Kyle pondered over this question for awhile, he had never even thought of it when he so often analyzed the things he had done since his time spent with Jarod. Maybe Jarod himself was the mitigating factor. That realization struck him as odd, before he never thought that someone like himself could even be capable of even trying to understand why he felt the way he did. All he knew for sure that those small cracks in his mind that he thought he buried long, were trying to rise to the surface and make him feel something once again.

Not sure of how to convey this to her, he simply shrugged his shoulders and replied "Life got to me."

"So why do you still want to hurt and kill people?" She asked finally her throat parched from the oppressive desert heat.

"Because I can." Kyle replied dryly. "Because that was why I was created,"

Lisbeth was more confused than ever, "Why can't you just quit and go off the grid or something, go somewhere no one can ever find you?"

"It's not so black and white, not to me." he answered back "There are so many shades of gray the rule my life still, but the easy answer is; I owe my brother the truth, he thinks that I am dead, killed in a car crash and for all the pain I might bring down upon him, I believe that he deserves to know the truth. It's loyalty. And those who used to hunt me still hunt him relentlessly."

Lisbeth was about to say something else but Kyle cut her off.

"Now let me ask you this why is it that you picked law enforcement as a career? It's a dangerous job hunting down criminals like me."

"I just wanted to make a difference with my life." She answered looking down at her feet as she spoke. "To do something that mattered, something I can be remembered for after I die."

Kyle moved so close to her that she could smell the shampoo on his hair and felt her arm tingle when he brushed it with his fingers accidentally. Her pulse quickened out of pure reflex. If he had noticed, he seemed oblivious or just plain unfazed.

Kyle did indeed notice, but said nothing. He just scooted over a bit and continued. "When did your father die?" Kyle asked lifting her chin gently with his fingertips. He had been watching her body language as she spoke and he knew that somewhere she was holding onto something that she couldn't put aside either.

"How did you…Umm My father was murdered when I was 17, he was shot while on duty by a drug dealer during a drug bust that went bad." Her voice quivered as she spoke of her father's death. "He was a good cop and an even better father to me."

"And what were you going to do before you choose a job where you could get even with people like the one who killed your father?" Kyle asked letting his hands fall back to his sides.

"I..I Was at MIT, a full scholarship. I graduated early and was in my second year there when it happened. But I didn't join the force for revenge if that is what you are getting at?"

Kyle grinned at her because he could feel the anger in her voice rising with each syllable she uttered "So are you some sort of genius type or something? I mean full ride to MIT that's not a walk in the park."

She furrowed her brow at him. "I don't like labels." She said at last.

"Then you sell yourself short, because I know that you are exceedingly brilliant, you kept me talking all this time, even though you know or at least think you know what I am, besides we can read each other. One's like us, too damn smart for our own good I suppose."

Kyle was surprised at her candor; he wasn't used to such honest conversations unless they were under duress. This woman intrigued him, she was different then any officer he had ever dealt with. No one like her had ever been even remotely civil towards him. The prison guards treated him with contempt and hatred and never engaged him in conversation.

"You look thirsty; I noticed a water bottle on your passenger seat." He walked over and bent down reaching inside the car and tossing her the bottle.

"So, did they catch the guy?" He remarked before even turning back around.

"They tracked him down to an old apartment where he was holed up with another dealer, I don't know how but the guy managed to get away and has never been caught. They found the body of a 14 year old girl in that death hole; she was bound, drugged and beaten to death."

"What is his name?" Kyle asked taking another puff of his cigarette.

"Rodney Jenkins." She spat his name out like it had a bad taste.

"Did you ever want him dead?" Kyle asked quickly not giving her a moment to hesitate.

"For years that's all that I ever thought about, I let that hatred consume me for years and now I just don't know, I hate him so much still even though it wont bring back my father. If he was in jail or dead then maybe it would ensure that he never kills someone like my father or like that girl ever again."

"Ah and there it is." Kyle said "You see we were both made into what we are today, you by tragedy and death and me, well the things they did to me I doubt anyone sane would believe any of it. Imagine being on the threshold of waking up from the worst nightmare you ever had, but not being able to. In a nutshell that was my childhood."

Kyle thought about all the experiments he was forced into, all the pain that came from the hands of adults when he was just a boy. He felt the rage beating inside him, burning at his soul with every breath. But this woman who stood there next to him, had not been a part of all that, even if she did wear a uniform. Suddenly he felt conflicted but for the life of him he didn't know why.

Lisbeth watched him silently; she instinctually knew that whatever he was thinking about was eating at the very core of his mind. What it was she couldn't even fathom and dared not even ask.

She didn't even flinch when Kyle took hold of her hand, she could feel scars upon his palms and saw them on his wrists as well.

"I'm really not the type of person who has ever helped anyone but myself." He began somberly, feeling the soft warmth of her hand in his "I have killed for much less. But if you do me the favor of never speaking about this to anyone, you will be sure that this man who made you hate so much will never breathe another breath once he meets me. I truly do detest drug dealers; I have killed my fair share of them."

"I can't let you do that." She said softly "I am supposed to uphold the law and bring people like you in. I'm the cop, you're the killer…No this is wrong, I can't go along with that!" She took a deep breath and added "Why would you even offer me something like that? You just met me, you hardly even know me?"

Kyle looked off into the distance, his eyes growing soft for a split second. When he turned back to face her, his eyes were bright and sparkling again. "You remind me of a girl I once knew a lifetime ago," He said as he released her hand.

"Was she someone you loved?" Lisbeth asked carefully.

Kyle released her hand and once again became silent; he was in new territory now, never before had he spoken of the one person who made him want to feel that particular emotion. He kept that information locked in the back of his mind for so long that even thinking about her seemed like a whole nether lifetime. He had never told a soul about the girl who had captivated him from the moment they met. Finally he began speaking, more softly then he had in a very long time.

"She loved me, for she told so often even though I didn't know what love really was. And I still don't know what it was she felt when she said those words, for they were just words to me. But she did manage to make me feel though. And for that I think I might have done almost anything for her. But she is now just a memory to me."

"What happened?" Lisbeth asked sitting back down on the hood of the car.

"I got careless and I made mistakes, the kind of mistakes that one can never take back." Kyle said with a heavy sigh.

Sensing that he was not going to say anything more and because she couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment. She turned towards Kyle and asked in a whispered voice "What was her name?" She really never expected him to answer her, but he did.

"Her name was Annalyse" He said in a quiet voice, he had not spoken her name out loud in so many years that it felt unreal. We had a… awhile together before everything fell all to hell."

"What went wrong?" Lisbeth asked as gently as she could.

"Because of me and the little that she knew about me she became a target."

Kyle suddenly felt drained and his mind was trying desperately to block the memories out, but they came to him anyway. "The people that are always hunting me decided to pay her a visit at her apartment. At the time I wasn't even in the city I was out of town searching. I had only spent the night at her place once, after that we always met somewhere else just to be safe."

Kyle felt again that anger rise inside him as he talked, it felt like torture almost. So why then was he telling all this to a complete stranger, even worse to a cop none the less? For as long as he could remember he was always very calculating and very private, never letting anyone like this get close to him.

Lisbeth had no idea what he might reveal next but watching his eyes go dark she knew that it was something terrible.

Kyle watched her face intensely for several minutes. Watching for any signs that might have betrayed her words. But he saw nothing to indicate that she might be baiting him. Waiting for the moment to try and make a break for it. Instead she remained leaned against the hood of the car.

Kyle leaned up on the hood next to her and spoke some more "I called her phone and got no answer, later I would learn that the phone lines were cut. I felt a great urgency then and threw caution to the wind and went to check on her at her place. When I arrived there I called out for her. But there was nothing but silence. She always had the television or music playing, I knew instantly something was wrong, all the lights were out to. So I searched around in the dark being careful not to alert anyone who might have still been in the apartment with her. I found five men in the living room and I laid waste quickly to all but one. That one I would savor, so I knocked him out and bound him up so tightly that I knew he would not escape before I had what I needed from him."

Lisbeth was feeling dizzy; she felt a rush of compassion run through her body for that girl. She found herself at a loss for words; she could hardly even begin to comprehend the horror of what he was saying to her.

Taking a long drag off his cigarette he blew out the smoke before saying in a somewhat detached way "And then I found her she was unconscious and her body was crumpled on the floor of the kitchen bleeding."

Lisbeth gasped at first then asked nervously "Did she die?"

"There are times that I wish she did." He said solemnly.

"Why would you ever wish such a terrible thing?" Lisbeth asked extremely confused. She could tell just by the way he talked that he must have cared for this girl in some way.

"Maybe my reasons behind that are purely selfish, but I will never forget the look of pain in her eyes. That's another curse of mine; I remember everything perfectly as if it just happened. I can never forget even if I wanted to. I have a photographic memory of sorts; I remember every little detail in perfect clarity as if it had happened just yesterday even though it's been years now."

"What did you do then?"

"First I took her as far away from her place as I could and checked her into an out of the way motel on the outskirts of town. First I made sure she was not mortally wounded then bandaged up what I could. I told her I would be back soon and went back to finish what I started there."

Kyle asked for another cigarette before continuing "I spent a long while with one I left tied up back at her place and made damn sure that he suffered a hundred times more than she did. I made him tell me everything they did to her and what they asked her about. My knife convinced him to tell me what I wanted to know, she told them nothing, she said she barley even knew me, had met me once at bar where she worked. That was all it took, just the mere thought that she knew of me. They tried their best to find out anything at all but they could not break her silence. So they decided to put a scar on her face to remind her of what they were capable of doing at anytime."

Kyle paced back around to the back of the car before continuing. "I came back to my Annalyse with blood on my hands and confessed what I had done. She hid her face from me at first but when she finally looked up at me with tears in her eyes, I told her she would always be beautiful to me. She cried a lot but she never spoke a word against me. She told me they did those things to her to make her tell me where I was, she didn't and she paid for it. I knew she was telling the truth because that was exactly what the bastard had said to me before I slit his throat wide open and watched as the blood drained out of him. After he died I torched the place."

Lisbeth shuddered even though the desert heat was beating down on her at well over a hundred degrees.

"I knew that more of those evil bastards would be coming soon and they would take me and kill her if they even thought I was nearby. I bought us a few hours by the carnage I created but only a few. I knew that they would never stop hunting me, there was only one thing I could do then."

Kyle grew quiet, so quiet that Lisbeth thought he had told her all that he was going to divulge, but then he spoke again.

"When I got back to the room. I gathered her up in my arms and carried her to the bed, where I made love to her for the last time. That was her terminology, it was always just sex to me, anyway afterwards she laid in my arms while I told her that I had to go and never see her again."

Kyle breathed in a long sigh and continued on before Lisbeth could ask anything more. "She begged me to stay with her, but I knew that was impossible. Leaving her was the only way out, part of me was screaming out to end her and save myself, for she knew and still knows too much about me what little I divulged anyway. But I couldn't even bring myself to think that way. I couldn't hurt her for she put my life above hers once already. No one had ever done anything like that before."

Kyle looked back towards the highway, he knew time was running out and he needed to get back on the road soon. "Here she was this beautiful young woman, who was beaten all to hell and she still didn't say anything that would expose me. Such loyalty is nearly impossible to find and I guess that aspect really intrigued me, for all I have ever known is dishonesty and betrayal."

Lisbeth took in a deep breath "And if they know that I have spoken to you, what then?" She had no clue as to who this mysterious "they" were but they defiantly did not sound good.

"Don't ask because you won't like the answer, I promise you that. Just know that they are far more dangerous than I. They will kill you if they think you know where I am going or what I have told you, but not before they make you wish you were dead."

Lisbeth felt a chill run through her body when he said that. "What happened to her after you left?"

"That, Lisbeth is something even I don't know, nor do I even want to. I told her to change her name, and run as far as she could and never look back. It went against everything in my nature to leave her alone to keep on living. For me that was a very insane thing to do. She knew enough to destroy me if she so wanted to and I still had a mission to fulfill on my own, something that I could not afford to let anyone get in the way of."

Lisbeth felt her body stiffen when she listened to him say that. "How can you say such things so casually when in truth they are horrible thoughts?"

Kyle grinned again and answered bluntly "Because as I have told you; that is simply who I am and who I always will be until the day someone finally puts me six feet under. And then what comes next is anyone's guess."

"You were right Kyle, even if I had a hundred years I don't think I could ever figure you out. But there must have been something about her to make you, as you say let her keep living."

"Well, I told you she was a bartender, but she was also trying to fit into this world. She came from old money, and a lot of it. But she shunned that life of money and privilege and tried to live a quiet life that was all her own."

Kyle seemed to slip off into a memory for a moment but then turned back towards Lisbeth his eyes unclouded and a smile playing upon his lips as he spoke.

"She had the crappiest little apartment and a shitty job, but she was doing in respect what I have always longed to do; to find myself in all this madness. But alas all that was ruined and I imagine that she had to go back to her family after all; for they had all the resources that were needed for her to disappear so to speak. I made her promise me to never look for me ever, for finding me would just mean her death. It was raining that night, pouring rain and I held her shivering body close to mine and kissed her one last time, I'll never forget that one kiss. And then I ran as far away as I could run."

"And what about you, what happened after you left her?"

"I became a true predator Lisbeth, I hurt anyone and everyone that I could, but I could never make that part of me go dark again. I found a perverse pleasure in killing all the drug dealers, all the gang bangers that I could find; I wiped entire crime families off the map just for fun. I killed whoever crossed me and it never even raised my blood pressure."

"So you killed the bad guys then?" Lisbeth asked hopefully.

"Lisbeth, I hurt so many people that soon I didn't care if they were bad or good because that is not the way my mind works. You might think that I did all that because I lost someone that you probably believe meant something to me. But that's not really it, you see I was made into a monster long before I ever met Annalyse; she just helped me turn it off sometimes. Although until the night we parted, I am sure she had no idea what I really was. She fell in love with a façade."

"So I got to ask again, did you love her at all?" Lisbeth asked looking Kyle right in his eyes. His green eyes sparkled when he smiled down at her.

"Lisbeth, I might have let my guard slip with her from a brief time because I did start to care too much for her well being, but I just don't know how to love someone. What it even means to love someone. I just can't feel what she so often talked about. They are emotions that I cannot feel even if I tried, they were lost to me when I was just a kid. All I can say is that I still trust her, like I trust my brother; but that's all I really can do now."

Lisbeth felt her heart beating against her chest as she said "Kyle, I feel sorry for you."

"Don't you dare do that Lisbeth!" He said tersely while looking her straight in the eyes, the look on his face was dead serious and his voice was ice cold. "I have never wanted anyone's pity, and I sure the hell don't need yours. So don't spoil everything and make me think talking to you was a mistake and that I should be rethinking letting you keep breathing."

She felt that chill again even though sweat trickled from her forehead. "I didn't mean anything…" She began to say but he cut her off.

"You want to know what I always say in situations such as these, I decide who lives or dies. So don't make me choose because you will regret it."

"Fair enough." She said in a shaky voice while avoiding his gaze as her heart pumping furiously inside her chest.

Kyle asked for another smoke and sat on the hood of the car staring off into the distance until finally, finishing his smoke and stamping it out with his foot; he stood up and turned to her.

"We seem to have come to a crossroads dear Lisbeth," He began, his face once again serious "I never intended on telling you everything that I have told you and now you hold inside your head my most guarded secret, you could destroy everything or you can preserve it, just never talk about it or write about. They are everywhere and can be anybody; so trust no one."

"Nobody else knows this?" She asked taken aback a bit.

"No one, save for Annalyse and of course now you. Hell not even my brother Jarod knows; for he has such good intentions and like I said before I trust him completely but he doesn't need this burden too, he has enough on his plate believe me."

"But why me of all people did you tell?" She asked feeling vulnerable once again.

Kyle took her hand in his again and smiled at her. "Like I said before, you just reminded me of her and I thought that I would never talk of her again, for she is as lost to me as if she were already gone from this earth."

"But there has to be something more right?" She asked again looking up into his sparkling green eyes. He was so damn enigmatic. She also knew that he could kill her in an instant and just walk away probably with that same smile upon his face not feeling a thing.

"If I could write a last will and testament than I would have, but that could be found and I can't take that chance while Annalyse is still alive, she could be found and it would severely compromise me and my brother and I just cannot let that happen. I have a mission to finish still you see. And nothing can come between me and that unless it's my death."

"How can you even be sure she's alive still?"

"To say I would just know would be redundant. But I do know that her family has had a plot put aside for her since the day she was born and I know that she isn't in there yet. Like I said she came from an extremely wealthy family and I guess that's what they do."

"But why now would you want to write your own will out?"

"Because, like I said, I have a huge score to settle very soon and either they will die or I will die."

"That sounds a bit morbid even for you." She commented.

He laughed and smiled back at her "Ah, but it is logical."

She returned his smile and even laughed a bit at that. God, he was a conundrum wrapped in an enigma. She feared him and at the same time found him to be so damn attractive. He repulsed her with his callous words and then drew her back in with his charming smile and his gorgeous eyes. He was the type of person who could mesmerize her right into bed even though she was the type of woman that had only one relationship in her life and that lasted 4 years. She was smart enough to know that he was a psychopath no doubt about it and she was an officer of the law yet she still felt drawn to him. This both excited and disgusted her.

She handed him another cigarette from her dwindling pack and took another for herself. He leaned towards her and again lit hers with that silver and gold lighter before lighting his own. He began to put it back in his pocket but instead changed his mind and held it out for her to take. "Keep it." He said, then added cryptically "Call it a reminder; I don't need it anymore anyway now."

She looked down at the lighter and knew immediately that it was indeed very expensive; it was heavy in her hand from being fashioned from gold. In the Silver inlay was the letters K and A. This was most likely the only possession that he had kept from his time with Annalyse; she probably had it made to order just for him. Why he had decided to part with it now was a mystery to her.

Lisbetha sat down on the hood of her patrol car and put her head in her hands, she didn't speak for the longest time. "Okay Kyle, let's just say none of this ever happened, I never met you and you never met me." She said softly "But I must insist that you let me deal with the scum the killed my father, I want him to pay but I want to do it the right way and put him behind bars one of these days myself."

"If that is what you want then fine" Kyle said as he stood in front of her and handed her back the firearm he had accosted from her earlier. She took the gun in her hands and checked the chambers they were still full of ammunition.

She gave him a rather puzzling look "Why?" was all she could ask.

Kyle turned his back to her and simply said "I'll let you decide this time."

Then she understood what he was saying to her in those few words, he was giving her an opportunity that he had never given anyone before. To stop him. But she just couldn't, she was beyond conflicted now. So instead; she just watched this intriguing man start to walk away back towards the highway.

He never turned back around just raised his hand in a farewell gesture and called back "Nice talking with you Lisbeth, I truly hope we never meet again."

All her instincts were telling her not to let him go. He was dangerous, a self proclaimed killer. She really should stop him from just walking away but instead she just holstered her gun and watched him leave. Soon he was just a silhouette and then seemed like nothing more than a mirage.

If anyone had asked her why she had done it, she would not have had a straight answer, all she knew was that the guy she met in the desert had seemed more real to her than anyone she had known besides her parents.

He let her into a part of his life that wasn't just some wild cowboy story or a badly forged fishing tale; there was no wonderland in what he had told her. No absolutes, there was only darkness and emptiness and strangely enough something that she related to and that both scared and shamed her at the same time. Because of that she would never speak of this encounter to anyone.

By the time she composed herself and drove back down to the highway, he was nowhere to be seen. His cycle was gone, there wasn't even a dust trail left to indicate he had been there. It was almost as if he had not even been real, just a figment of her own imagination swarming about in her head.

The radio in her squad car was off, so she flipped the switch back on. And instantly a voice came over the airwaves.

"S-22; this is HQ. What is your position and do you require any assistance? We have not been able to raise you and were just about to send another car out looking for you. 10-4"

"S-22 here, I am still out here on hwy 139. My car battery went dead and it was awhile before this trucker came along and helped me out with it. That's a negative to sending assistance the situation has been remedied. 10-4."

"S-22, what about the cycle you pulled over? 10-4."

"HQ, it was nothing, the driver was going a little fast, but everything checked out so I just let him off with a warning. I've just been stuck here on the side of the Highway alone ever since. I'm heading back to the station now, my shifts been over for about 20 minutes now and I would like to get home soon. Over and Out."

"S-22, Copy that."

Lisbeth smiled to herself and sped out down the Highway, turning up the radio in her cruiser and listening to Mick Jagger belt out the lyrics to Sympathy for the Devil.

_Just as every cop is a criminalAnd all the sinners saintsAs heads is tailsJust call me luciferCause Im in need of some restraint_

_So if you meet meHave some courtesyHave some sympathy, and some tasteUse all your well-learned politesseOr I'll lay your soul to waste, _

_Pleased to meet youHope you guessed my name, um yeahBut what's puzzling youIs the nature of my game_

_Woo, whoOh yeah, get on downTell me baby, what's my nameTell me honey, can ya guess my name_


End file.
